Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Macroevolution of Knits?

In my drawer, I have accumulated 11 distinct types of sock, including one dress and one women's. Seven have no mate, and I can account for at most four of the different types.

I only ever buy one kind of sock.

We all know that the amount of socks you put into the wash never equals the amount you get out, though it's usually an odd number. Now, apparently, left to their own devices, they evolve.

I am convinced that socks obey different laws of physics than the rest of the universe. There is weird, weird stuff going on here.

12 comments:

Josh said...

Don't try to fool us, Nick. Everyone knows that a respectable evolutionary biology theory requires speculative claims about reproductive advantages. I think you're just trying to provide a cover for your insatiable urge to steal footwear.

StefLenz said...

can we compare? becuase i have lots of evolved socks too. and maybe ours have evolved similarly and therefore would like ot find members of similar species.

ps. you are a dork

Matt Aquiline said...

Nick, with all the undergarment stealing going around on Penn's campus, I'd keep quiet about your collection of women's socks. weirdo.

a-c said...

I...don't really want to know why you have a woman's sock.

And yet, I'm incredibly curious.

M. Weed said...

Wear wool socks, change them less often, have less socks, eliminate confusion. Problem solved.

starlighterx said...

I don't see why the easy thing is to have less socks, Matt. Maybe it's easier for men. It's not that women WANT TO have more socks. Rather, we are required to wear different type of socks by the type of shoes we wear: tennis shoes, gym shoes, low heels, high heels, boots, slip-ons, etc. Perhaps we can merely wash our socks by hand more often...either way, socks are a must have. They tell a lot about a person, you know. As for Nick's one pair of women's socks...he now has an interesting story to tell, but he seems to refuse to. Nick? :)

Nicholas said...

Her name was Francesca. And what a night that was.

I kid. There actually is no interesting story to tell. I just live in a house with three women (and four guys), and one of their socks must have been left in the dryer or something and ended up with mine. Seems a waste to throw out, but too much effort to find the owner, so I threw it in the drawer.

Raech, those socks sound like a huge pain. Another facet of complication to the average female life of which the average male has no conception.

Anonymous said...

Baloney! Males have to have wool socks for when they wear their manly work boots; they need brightly colored, thick, high tube socks for virile competitions of athletic prowess; they need long black socks for dress; they need standard white cotton ankle socks for standard wear; and they need medium length socks to best show off their calf muscles whilst bicycling around the town. Men need all kinds of socks!

Finally, men need some really ratty, smelly gym socks. Not to wear, of course, but to put in their hamper on top of the laundry machine when they wash their clothes. That way, no one will dare mess with your laundry, it's sort of like marking your territory.

M. Weed said...

So basically what you're saying is that you ALSO need to have less shoes. That sounds like a GREAT idea.

M. Weed said...

oh and by the way, I FEEL LIKE A FIGHTER JET... MADE OF BICEPS!

Matt Aquiline said...

TOP SCORE!!!1

DD said...

Potential million dollar idea: A virtual swap-site for users to trade mismatched socks, complete a set. Don't know if your website-building expertise extends farther than a Blogspot blog...

(Of course, it probably costs more to ship socks than buy a new pair. But think of the i-buzz.)