Thursday, April 3, 2008

Eric Knight. Maker of good sandwiches.

Where I come from.

I got to see my dad last night.

I had a dream about him for what seems like a couple of hours. It felt soo good to believe like he was around again, like it hadn't been almost five years since he died.

It's hard, having lived so much of my life now without him. I've changed so much since I was 17, he'd hardly know me if we met now. And I begin to forget.

The less of my life he's part of, the more I'm defined independently of him. I lose touch of where I come from and become increasingly defined by where I've been.

I miss my dad.

There is that great hope. In each dream reunion the years without him instantly evaporate for the joy that he is with me now. It is they which seem to be the illusion, the dream which may be forgotten.

Despite waking up, I feel that in this is truth.


laurabeth said...

I'm glad you had a dream. It is hard to think of so much life that could be ahead without him. I think about that a lot ... at my brother's wedding I think is when I realized that it wasn't going to end ... the list of wonderful things that happen without him. So I hope you keep dreaming about him and he keeps catching up with you.

M. Weed said...

You know better than most that those things we call "tangible" are perhaps the least real elements of our lives. This is the "glass, darkly". Entertainment and consumer culture reinforce the 'reality principle' (i.e., that there's nothing behind the veil, mundane life is the most real thing), but Christ destroys it --- literally tearing the curtain in two. So your dream is not to be discounted, because the question of whether or not your dad was "actually present" has no meaning. The dream tells you something about Reality, which is confirmed in the Text. Death is swallowed up in victory. That's not a promise, it's a factual and present Reality.

I had a similarly "Real" experience while in Chile, exposed to the elements. Linshuang and I were wet and cold and being chased by a nasty storm, and we started pleading with God out loud --- immediately the wind changed direction and blew hard against the storm for the rest of the day. We stayed dry all the way out of the trek, and only as we left the park two days later did the pent-up rain start coming down on the mountains again. I kept thinking, "even the wind and waves obey him".

Jean Lee said...

thanks for sharing your dream :)

Anonymous said...

You look just like him.